before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
