i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
