Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
