weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
