Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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