you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
