She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
