i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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