Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
