I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
