sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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