At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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