people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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