why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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