i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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