where am i from again
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
