windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
