i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize