I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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