just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
