Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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