I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
