Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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