Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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