Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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