Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
