Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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