Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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