Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
