last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
