talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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