You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize