Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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