It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
