so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
