there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
