At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
