WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize