Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
