my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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