You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
