I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How external is "for external use only"?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
