Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
