How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
