I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I could fuck to npr.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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