What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
