Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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