You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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