That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
