um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
