yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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