as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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