I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
