Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
