How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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