I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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