would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
