Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was like eating out sand paper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize