I love black thongs
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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