hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
