Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
