I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
