He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
