He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
