I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
