guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
