Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
