i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
