i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize